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About Varied / Student Member MadelineFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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deviation in storage by lemonadepink

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Well, to the few who are possibly still watching me or even remember who I am, I'm back - hopefully for the long run! As of this past year I have: graduated with a BA (even though I might be the least qualified), started working (mainly to gain experience), and even moved out for a bit (by the end of this month I am moving back due to reasons). As the past few months have taken a toll on my mentality, I have started thinking about where I started from when it comes to my characters and my own self.

I really need to get back to Ranko - I want to redo her whole base story but keep the important elements there. I want to continue to create her albums as best as I can - I even have a few sketched out on how I want them to look. I even have slight idea on how I want Ranko's story to go. I just need the time and energy to dive back into it like I used to do.

However, before I do any of that, the first thing I need to do is rediscover myself: Madeline.

Yes, I do not go by Fiona anymore nor do I want to. I have tried on various names since I was last active on here.

I love the name Madeline - it is much better than the other names I tried on for my true self and it just clicks. It might feel like an old name to some, I feel like at home with it. However, even though I know I should have been born female, I still have to rediscover that side of me. I haven't been able to explore my true self since the end of high school. All I have had since then is a name and some semblance of a personality. Some days it feels like my true self is floating away and all that is left is some zombie who does what is needed of itself to deal with this life.  I really do not know what to do to help me in this journey. I might have to go back to journaling. I definitely have the resources to do that!

Right now, I feel as if this journal is a bit all over the place - I won't edit much though since I just want to get my ideas down on the page.

Hopefully I will talk more in a couple days or so.

As always,

~ Madeline
  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Disney Dudez and Freaks Like Me
  • Reading: Work Schedule and Amtrak Schedule
  • Watching: Youtube
  • Eating: Chili and Rice
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew LiveWire

Donate

Mabak has started a donation pool!
50 / 1,000
Just looking for points to make commissions. I have heard about people doing random donations so I am putting her in case of that.

You must be logged in to donate.
Well, to the few who are possibly still watching me or even remember who I am, I'm back - hopefully for the long run! As of this past year I have: graduated with a BA (even though I might be the least qualified), started working (mainly to gain experience), and even moved out for a bit (by the end of this month I am moving back due to reasons). As the past few months have taken a toll on my mentality, I have started thinking about where I started from when it comes to my characters and my own self.

I really need to get back to Ranko - I want to redo her whole base story but keep the important elements there. I want to continue to create her albums as best as I can - I even have a few sketched out on how I want them to look. I even have slight idea on how I want Ranko's story to go. I just need the time and energy to dive back into it like I used to do.

However, before I do any of that, the first thing I need to do is rediscover myself: Madeline.

Yes, I do not go by Fiona anymore nor do I want to. I have tried on various names since I was last active on here.

I love the name Madeline - it is much better than the other names I tried on for my true self and it just clicks. It might feel like an old name to some, I feel like at home with it. However, even though I know I should have been born female, I still have to rediscover that side of me. I haven't been able to explore my true self since the end of high school. All I have had since then is a name and some semblance of a personality. Some days it feels like my true self is floating away and all that is left is some zombie who does what is needed of itself to deal with this life.  I really do not know what to do to help me in this journey. I might have to go back to journaling. I definitely have the resources to do that!

Right now, I feel as if this journal is a bit all over the place - I won't edit much though since I just want to get my ideas down on the page.

Hopefully I will talk more in a couple days or so.

As always,

~ Madeline
  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Disney Dudez and Freaks Like Me
  • Reading: Work Schedule and Amtrak Schedule
  • Watching: Youtube
  • Eating: Chili and Rice
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew LiveWire

Journal History

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Mabak's Profile Picture
Mabak
Madeline
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Current Residence: california
Favourite genre of music: Rap, Rock, Pop, just about anything with a good beat
Favourite style of art: Fractal
Operating System: Something that works
MP3 player of choice: My Phone
Favourite cartoon character: Karin, Ranma-chan, Kuzuyu, Midori, basically the funny female anime characters
Interests

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Comments


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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 16th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Reply
:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
Happy birthday! :D
Reply
:iconwarriorgriffinheart:
warriorgriffinheart Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014   Digital Artist
CM for Mabak by warriorgriffinheartIcon CM for Mabak by warriorgriffinheart

Still workin' on the last one~
Reply
:iconmabak:
Mabak Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014  Student General Artist
Okies ^^
Reply
:iconwarriorgriffinheart:
warriorgriffinheart Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014   Digital Artist
Young Ranko CM for Mabak by warriorgriffinheart
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:iconmabak:
Mabak Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much again!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmikotowolfskin:
MikotoWolfskin Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorite +fav on Project Mikey TG AR I hope you'll consider return to that page and commenting on what you most enjoyed about
Reply
:iconrisetoliberty93:
risetoliberty93 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav!
Reply
:iconwarriorgriffinheart:
warriorgriffinheart Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   Digital Artist
mind if I do 5 instead of 7 because I've seriously been undercharging and it would take less time?
Reply
:iconmabak:
Mabak Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014  Student General Artist
Can you send back what the descriptions were XD i can't seem to find them >.<
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